Photo by Muha
Have you ever tried to hit on someone only to end up being told to go fly a kite? Well, I know I haven't--at least not in that sort of situation. One of my best friends, Farrah, loves that expression but uses it in response to various contexts. She says it in a state of annoyance and believe me she gets annoyed by a lot of things.
Someone tries to recruit her in multi-level network marketing.
Recruiter: ...and you're sure to get rich because when you sign up for this and get as many people to join, too, you'll end up not having to do anything because your recruits are going to do all the work for you.
Farrah then triggers an awkward moment of silence by saying something uncalled for in a very low and apathetic tone of voice.
Farrah: So are you thinking like that right now?
Farrah: (Cutting in) I'm assuming you've been told the same thing by whoever got you into this. Do you expect me to do all the work for you then?
Recruiter: The thing is...
Farrah: (Cutting in) You know what? Go fly a kite!
Farrah then smiles and severs the conversation for good.
You see, I've tried using the expression in such kind of context, but it has never and is never going to amount to anything positive. It's basically just another way of telling people to get lost. I'd like to use it in a different way. I want to give it a more productive tone. Yes, I've used this on someone who tried to hit on me. Believe me, it's offensive. Albeit, mildly, but still offensive.
Do this instead!
When someone emotionally unbecoming but still worthy of future consideration tries to hit on you and you don't quite feel comfortable about the thing at the moment, but you don't want to blow the person off, do this:
Wait for a good pause; smile; and say:
"Go fly a kite! Respect the kite. Take care of the kite. Learn to be in harmony with the kite. Love the kite. And then... come back and do the same to me when you've learned how."
Isn't it nicer that way?