The Bohol Earthquake: A Test of Leadership

 

One could not be blamed for imagining that, amid all the world’s advancements in science, volcanology would have figured out a way to foresee when earthquakes happen with as ample an amount of time as we now have before hurricanes and typhoons come to us, given how ubiquitous these tremors are in the ring of fire that is home to Japan, one of the world’s forerunners in scientific innovation and research. Alas, it has not. And, unfortunately for Boholanos, nobody could have seen the quake coming ten years ago.

The 13^th of October 2013 should have been an uneventful day for most people living in Bohol. Plotted on the national calendar as a legal holiday, it was one that was meant to be celebrated by different groups of people for different reasons. Foremost, for the Muslim community, it was to be the year’s largest and most important holiday – the Eid al-Adha, the Feast of the Sacrifice, a day of celebration in remembrance of the obedient devotion of Abraham to God. For the rest of us, it meant either no school for students, no work for government staff, or a nice day at the workplace for private sector employees knowing they were getting double the amount of a day’s standard wages. Whatever you believed in, it was a day to look forward to.

As fate had it, however, what was supposed to be a welcome day for all was flipped into utter chaos. Just a few dreadful seconds and it all came crashing down – literally – into what would forever be etched into the collective memory of Boholanos as one of the island province’s most harrowing days. For nearly half a minute, it felt as though a primordial entity living underground was clamoring for a way out. To say the Earth shook would be a dire understatement. It was felt for miles all over the archipelago, but here where it happened, it was a horror film come to life. Buildings crumbled to pieces, bridges fell into rivers, the ground cracked open, and centuries-old edifices that have come to define Boholano cultural heritage were reduced to nothing but sad agglomerations of cubed limestone and coral dust within a few blinks of an eye.

It was a strange and unfamiliar catastrophe – one that no living Boholano had ever experienced on the island, especially not its then chief executive, Edgar Chatto. First-hand sources claim that without wasting a second, at the end of the main tremor, the governor rushed to kickstart emergency response and damage assessment at the command center of TaRSIER 117. The latter unit, named after Bohol’s most prominent primates, was barely in its infancy stage at this point, but along with everything that the provincial government could muster, it had to be put to work in what was described by staff members as nothing short of a baptism by fire.

That very same morning, the governor gave no second thought to pulling key people out of their lawful day off to form a team that created and consequently activated a comprehensive response plan, mobilizing every available resource to ensure people’s basic needs were met. By nightfall, the team had been able to pool volunteers for needs relief operations. The Bohol Cultural Centre, with its wall cracks and fallen ceiling boards, was transformed into a hub where food was packed before being darted off into the homes of those that needed them, especially in the areas that were now made inaccessible by the destruction of infrastructure. Such was the scene that prevailed for days and days, while the nitty-gritty of rehabilitation work proceeded backstage, so to speak.

Edgar Chatto, at this point, had just begun his second term as governor after emerging victorious from what could be described as one of Bohol’s most vicious gubernatorial races. He was no stranger to hard work. In fact, his personal slogan leading up to his very first term a few years prior was “to hit the ground running.” However, it was ultimately his choice to toil tirelessly. In the latter case, he did not have a choice. Nobody did. This was a true test to his capabilities and he made sure that all options were explored, all helping hands tapped, and all friends given a ring. Not least of which was the president himself, Benigno Aquino III, who discreetly flew into the province bringing help and much-needed supplies, and it was perhaps the first time in our republic’s rich history that the head of state was billeted to spend the night in a lowly tent despite being in one of the country’s most prominent tourist destinations. But neither the president nor the governor cared about quality of accommodation nearly as much as they did about the well-being of the Boholano people. This was a challenge to the leadership of the president as much as it was to the governor and any other leader who cared.

Leaders – the true ones – are a special kind of people, in my view. Always ready, never tired. Facing challenges head-on and dragging inspiring others around them to step up. It is a special kind of talent – a kind of superpower, if you will – that not everyone possesses and to this day I am not convinced that it is something that can be learned from scratch. I’m not sure if true leaders are born or made or either or both. Because while many of them put themselves out there to be called upon by those they serve, there are others who emerge only when they are truly needed. As if summoned by a divine force, several such leaders manifested themselves during the earthquake’s aftermath in the fashion of a collective of comic book superbeings who had come in a moment of dire need to face a very powerful common adversary. Everyone was there for us and with us – local and national government agencies, international organizations, foreign governmental cooperation agencies, non-government groups, the military, law enforcement, the scouts, the private sector, civil society, as well as faith communities including but not limited to the leadership of the Catholic Church.

For the most part, people crossed party lines, put aside their personal and political differences, and momentarily suspended their hostilities as they worked toward their common goals – first survival then sustainable rehabilitation. In school, Filipiniana and values education teaches us about the spirit of Bayanihan, illustrated by a village lifting a hut presumably belonging to people who wish to move somewhere. I had seen this at work many times, but only ever on small scales, like how the concept was introduced in school. So, for a long time I wondered if this could happen on a large scale. The earthquake of 2013 answered this question in one of the most inspiring ways possible. No act of service was too small for a person with a sincere heart and no challenge was too big a leader.

Ten years on and this is where we are today, thanks to the team effort of the people of Bohol and our leaders, big-time or small-time, known or unknown, who played a role in the long and grueling process of healing and rebuilding, starting with the spirits that had been broken. Now, our roads have been repaved; our bridges have been rebuilt; and our centuries-old heritage churches and cultural treasures have risen again as though they never fell. Tourism has bounced back time and time again following a multitude of challenges and our local economy is doing fairly well considering the kind of battery it has been subjected to over the years since then.

Quite a few more harrowing episodes have followed since the 2013 earthquake and we as a people have proven over and over that not only are we resilient, we are also a very strong and capable lot, full of leaders who are ready to step up to the challenges hurled at us. The tremor might not have been the worst thing to happen thus far but it was certainly a strong wake-up call and it allowed us to learn to gird our loins, armor up and hone our skills to be able to face every single one that comes our way, supporting and learning from one another and emerging as better people and better leaders each time. As Edgar Chatto always says, “Leadership is a gift from God for man to develop and share with others.”

On Being a Privileged Left-Leaner

This is a response to someone who told me I didn't have any credibility to talk critically about big-corp capitalism and supply-side economics because I went to private school and drive a car. Yes, it's a rant.

Of course I'm aware of my privilege. I'm aware that it has given me so much leverage in life that others who do not have it would otherwise have starved to death eleven years ago. I am angry. Not because I didn't suffer. Who the f* wants to suffer? I'm angry that there are countless people who work sixteen times harder than I do and yet don't even have one-sixteenth of the comforts I enjoy or were ever afforded any of the opportunities I've received and subsequently flushed down the drain.

Yes, I admit I am privileged but should I really be treated dismissively in a conversation about social justice simply because you saw me driving a car? Do I not have the right to be angry about social inequity just because I went to private school?

You may be tan but check your bum in the mirror! It's probably so white you couldn't even tell the difference if someone shone a torch on it. Your genetic lottery draw is privilege in itself. And, oh, the fact that you, a foreigner, are even here, on an Island in Southeast Asia, 6,000 nautical miles from home: Privilege. Unless you can prove you rowed yourself through the Pacific Ocean all the way from California on a dingy you built yourself using timber you felled from from a hostile jungle, you are definitely privileged. So don't be dissy telling me I can't be genuinely on-board with the green cause just because of my ride and my level of education.

And, by the way, not to denigrate him in any way, but your hero Karl Marx was born to wealthy wine producers and went to private school. Smoke on your pipe and put that in!

No Joke: A few thoughts on 'Joker'

After seeing Heath Ledger's Joker in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight, I still had to take time to re-watch 1989's Batman directed by Tim Burton where Jack Nicholson played DC's iconic evil clown. While Heath was certainly much better than Jack, the question took a review and a mental list of pros and cons to gain an answer. Joaquin's performance, however, did not even warrant a question. The 44-year-old vegan Puertorriqueño definitely takes the clown crown. This set of thoughts, however, doesn’t center on his performance. We already know he is going to bag that Academy Award, anyway. This set of musings is a verbal representation of the film itself and the things it has done to my head.

Initially, it almost felt like another revisionist re-imagining of a villain but it was not. In a myriad of distorting spectacles and lenses, Joker offers a microscope, an x-ray and a sonogram all at the same time, giving us a deep view into the abysmal psyche of the DC Multiverse’s most complex, twisted and violent characters. It made the monkey-mutilating, bird-ripping, old-lady-murdering green-skinned witch Elphaba from Gregory Maguire’s Wicked suddenly seem even amiable.

Joker did not play around with positivity. It did not pander to the “other side” perspective presented in revisionist trends that try to put the good spotlight on characters that were otherwise villains in their original incarnations (e.g. Maleficent, Wicked, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister). Joker does not provide a romantic explanation for the character’s behaviour and neither does it attempt to exonerate him. It shows us exactly why he is the way he is. It shows how our vicious socio-economic environment is the perfect breeding ground for a violent cycle of oppression and retaliation. It also shows how utterly important it is to address mental health issues at their budding stages because, as many may refuse to accept in today’s age of medical advancement, there really does exist a point of no f'ng return that not even the teachings and prescribed methods of history’s most influential scientists, sages and prophets could reverse — at least not in one lifetime.

Joker is a masterpiece in cinematography, screenplay, acting and direction. Yes, it’s a masterpiece of a film, but I have beef with it. It hits very sensitive visceral spots and yet does not attempt to draw out a specific response from its wanting audience. It rather encourages ambivalence which can be deeply unsettling for those of us who have known the character for quite a while and had made the decision to despise him long ago. It would have been easier, too, to decide to love the Joker if that were the film's intention. But, no. Unlike revisionist films and literature where there is a clear courting of audience sympathy, and unlike plain origin story prequels like Hannibal Rising where the tone employed is matter-of-fact, Joker is a hybrid where the viewer is left to vacillate whether they would sympathise, empathise or subdue their emotional responses in favour of a logical and rational conclusion — a decision to say something along the lines “the film shows us how terrorists are made; the Joker is a terrorist; and while there is a backstory to the violent proclivities of every terrorist, it is not an excuse.”

And yet even with the response choices the film presents to us, there is no clear line that separates them. It’s like blots of ink on a plate. They begin as distinct colours and gradually mix on the fringes. Move the plate too much and you end up with a single hue. A combination of sympathy, empathy and the logical rejection of any excuse for violence, maybe? Perhaps this is the kind of response it has drawn from me — a person suffering from clinical mental issues — but I’m not entirely certain yet. The colours have not fully decided what they are and what single hue they ultimately want to reveal themselves as.

Murder

Plastic rubbish picked from the coast of Danao, Panglao, Bohol, Philippines

Here's a thought. Killing humans is against the law, right? We're the most heavily protected species on this planet. The reason why international civil aviation law has made it a criminal offence to remove life vests from aircrafts is because in doing so one is potentially depriving a human being of the possibility of survival. Basically, stealing a life vest is an indirect act of murder. It's a criminal offence as a preventive measure and it makes perfect sense that violators get heavily fined or jailed.

In the same line of thinking, littering non-biodegradable rubbish is also an act of murder towards protected species -- especially marine animals. This has been proven time and time again. Many beached dead rays, sharks, cetaceans and turtles have been found to have died from plastic ingestion. So the indiscriminate disposal of plastic waste is essentially as much an act of murder towards these protected creatures as taking that yellow packet from under your seat is towards H.sapiens. Why don't we then make littering a serious criminal offence?

Legislative efforts to ban single-use disposable plastic bags, straws, stirrers and cutlery could be coupled with laws increasing the criminal weight of the indiscriminate littering of plastics, no matter how big or small -- whether it's a restaurant allowing a fallen dumpster to lay unattended, a hospital dumping used syringes onto a parking lot near the coast, a factory using a nearby ravine as an open bin for disposable hair nets or an individual chucking a cigarette onto a sewer vent. We could even go punitive on corporations, too. Fine Coca Cola for every Dasani bottle on the street. Fine Nestle for every Nescafe sachet retrieved from the ocean.

We can't just wait for corporations (and consumers) to make changes to their game. We have to make the field very, very difficult to play on.

Maldita, Estricta

Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turned,

Nor hell a fury, like a woman scorned.

For millennia, the most feared beings in traditionally patriarchal societies all over the world have been strong angry women. I take as an example the character of Zara, the Moorish queen in the Mourning Bride, a tragedy play written by William Congreve in 1697, about whom the lines of poetry above were written. We might be more familiar with the shortened version, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” a usual quip when talking about wives taking vengeful measures against cheating husbands. Perhaps these famous lines were written at the time as an homage to vengeful female characters in a plethora of pieces of literature that preceded it -- mostly written by the conventionally dominant half of the human population: men.

In the mythology of the ancient Greeks, there was the vengeful consort of Zeus, Hera, whom historians painted as a character whose life’s sole mission was to exterminate the humans her husband hobnobbed with. In the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament), there was Queen Jezebel, who made it her life’s mission to propagate her religion among the people of Israel. In the Christian Bible (New Testament), there was Herodias, who conspired to behead John the Baptist for repeatedly questioning the morality of her marriage to King Herod. In medieval literature, there are those that fall under the wicked stepmother archetype. Many of which are portrayed in classic Disney princess films. For example: the Queen in Snow White who was consumed by her aspirations to become the world’s most beautiful and Cinderella’s stepmother who would stop at nothing to give her daughters an opportunity at social advancement. Then, beginning in April 2019, we will be seeing more of Game of Thrones’ Queen Cersei who only wants the absolute best for her family.

Are their actions justifiable? The way they were written, it certainly doesn’t seem so. However, it is important to understand that, perhaps with the exception of an illuminated few like George R.R. Martin and the revisionist Gregory Maguire, most authors write with absolute biases, including those who chronicled the texts upon which the world’s most dominant religions are based. It is just sad to note that when it comes to strong female characters, their vitriol is more forceful than usual and the romanticism of evil is of a loftier level than what is normally painted of a male antagonist. Either that or the consequent social perception of female villains is just extra hostile. Perhaps both? I suggest when you are introduced to a relatively well-written antagonist character to look at their motives and ask yourself whether or not you have the proclivity to take similar measures if you were put in their position. If I weren’t a pacifist Quaker and someone who purports to be the messenger of God repeatedly came to my house to admonish me about the moral legitimacy of my marriage -- to a King nonetheless -- I don’t know if I would be adverse to the idea of decapitation.

Let us now take a look at present realities and the heavily patriarchal social construct that sadly still exists. Let us take some examples of how, in the 21st century, the world still bears strong disdain for women. The United States of America elected a foul-mouthed racist with a track record of sexual misconduct over a person who sent a few shady emails. Saudi Arabia jailed an advocate for the abolition of the Kingdom’s law on male guardianship. Israel detained a child for slapping a soldier who barged into her home unwelcome. The Philippines jailed the most vocal critic of its president’s deadly war on the poor. The views on the veracity of their claim to righteousness are vastly divided, but one thing they share in common is a vagina. And this world, as it is, seems to be deathly afraid of that.

In this article’s title are two Spanish loanwords very commonly used in the colloquial form of the Cebuano language to refer to strong women who refuse to be steered around by the whims of the male-dominated society they live in. Maldita, estricta. Whether they are homemakers, teachers, corporate workers, civil servants, entrepreneurs, politicians, single, married or what-have-you, one will more often than not hear a woman described as such if she doesn’t fit the mold of demureness and subservience that society’s box has set for her. It has been used countless times to refer to women in my maternal family, which is dominated by strong women. Case in point: my mother, Liza Migriño Quirog, a brilliant civil servant, has been nicknamed “the Dragon” for her resolute firmness in ensuring that things are done correctly under her watch. She is unwavering and determined -- qualities that are normally seen as admirable in men, even if they do not have amiable personalities. And yet because my mother is of the opposite gender, she is called maldita, estricta.

Of late, mama has come to embrace the dragon title, perhaps reinforced by her admiration for Game of Thrones’ Daenerys Targaryen, and she is no longer bothered by the idea that, behind her back, she is not always positively spoken about. She puts a premium on doing things right rather than people’s opinion of her, with the acknowledgement that she has built a credible name for herself in her line of work. She is a titanium wall to be reckoned with and she does not operate at the mercy of those who do not know any better. She is lucky in that sense, I suppose.

Others are not as fortunate. While many women in public service have taken it upon themselves to adjust to social expectations of agreeability even if it pains them, I know a lot who, like my mother, simply refuse to be fake. They have a strong passion to serve but they refuse to develop a false facade of geniality and it has very sadly proven to be a threat to their work. Pureza Veloso Chatto, a talented public official, the mayor of the Municipality of Balilihan who has, for the last three and a half years, served the town faithfully and ably, has recently become the recipient of a myriad of attacks. Most of them are false accusations on her abilities as a leader, but a large chunk is an assault on her refusal to conform to the norm of being perpetually smiley and nice. Again, a litany which can be summarised as maldita, estricta. While the president of the country enjoys an enduringly forgiving cult-like posse of people who laugh at his foul jokes, ignore his tyranny, and turn a blind eye on his absolutely despicable public behaviour and proven inability to keep his campaign promises, even as the nation’s head of state, this simple and very able town mayor draws flak simply for refusing to smile on a hot day. And yet people say they admire Duterte for being real. What a tragic irony.

My two cents’ worth: Being maldita, estricta, as long as it does not constitute violence, should be embraced if they serve as effective step-ladders for women on their way to carving names for themselves in a heavily patriarchal society. Forget the critics. Kindness is important, but being nice against one’s own will is self-destructive. As long as one operates with decency, dignity and honesty, forced niceties are nothing but frills. You do you, girls!

Happy International Women’s Day to all the maldita, estricta women all over the world who are doing the best to succeed in this unkind and unforgiving world unfairly run by men. I salute you.

The Missing Ingredient

A well-respected family friend shared on her Facebook timeline an article in the Himalayan Times that posits how culture is the missing ingredient in healing cities after disasters. It cites, as an example, how the deadly earthquake in 2015 in Nepal became a sort of unifying force that brought people together to work towards rebuilding what was near and dear. Because what had been damaged were of value not only as structures but as cultural heritage, as marks of identity and as things that were alive.

As a resident of Kathmandu, I can fully attest to this. The city's temples and public squares are true communal social spaces as much as they are places of worship and subjects of awe for wide-eyed foreigners. They don't preserve a temple for the sake of preservation just because it's thousands of years old; they actually use their temples. That's how their sacred edifices remain alive to this day and that's why they rose up fast after they crumbled in the earthquake four years ago. If someone wants to touch an idol, people won't object just because it's over 2,500 years old. If someone wants to wash clothes in the water temple, they're free to do so. If a young couple wants to have an intimate time on the covered steps of the temple of Shiva and Parvati, away from parental scrutiny, the priests might even give their blessing.

A common problem I've noticed in a lot of European, South American, Middle-Eastern and (of course) Filipino "sacred" and "heritage" places is that they like to put what they consider holy inside glass boxes, accessible only to a privileged few. This way, the culture that might once have been built around an icon dies a slow death because people feel removed from it. And it isn't their fault. If it were me, I wouldn't repeatedly impose on myself to be in a place where I couldn't fully express my reverence because I'm not clean enough to touch something.

In Nepal, the story is different. A temple is a place for community even if religion is not strictly organised here as it is in a place like the Philippines. Take the Monkey Temple (Swayambhunath) as an example. Listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site, it is a Tibetan Buddhist temple where monks and practising lay adherents to the faith revolve around a large stupa in meditation. However, it isn't limited to that. Religious Hindus also go there to maintain the structures, sell food and souvenirs, and feed monkeys. Couples go on dates there. Fitness enthusiasts climb its 400+ steep steps in the morning (just like my 80-year-old grandmother did when she came to visit). Astronomy/astrology fans go up there to stargaze on clear sky mid-nights. That's why when part of it was downed during the 2015 earthquake and there was a looming threat that UNESCO, who offered to fix it, would pry it open, the ordinary people of Kathmandu gave a big firm 'no' and decided to pool resources to fix it themselves. It was among the first places of worship in Nepal to recover after falling because the community came together. Because it's something part of them. Because it's an extension of what they know to be home, even if it does not directly represent the faith that they subscribe to.

The Ambiguous but Genuine Spirituality of Liza Migriño Quirog

"...an overturned black car resting on a vaguely familiar grassland."

Saturday mornings are usually extremely lazy days for me. I sleep in and have a late brunch if nobody cares to yank me out of bed. When I do wake up, the routine begins with a runthrough of all the messages and emails I received while I was away in dreamland. December 1, 2018 was to be no different, I thought, but I was direly mistaken. At three minutes before noon (Nepal Standard Time), I awoke to successive vibrations from my smartphone and was jolted out of bed by my own barrage of expletives over the messages and photos I received from my mother -- news of the accident she had met earlier that day, accompanied by five (5) shots of an overturned black car resting on a vaguely familiar grassland.

In one of her messages, mama mentioned that she and everyone with her were ‘still alive,’ which, to a child living abroad and away from his mother, would be the most alarming reason for a phone call. ‘Still alive’ just didn’t cut it for me; I had to know she was completely fine and it didn’t help that my room’s weak WiFi signal prevented me from making a successful call on my first attempt. I’ve always seen something like this coming. With the kind of schedule she has and the speeds at which her service vehicles are compelled to run so she can make it to her appointments on time, I knew this was bound to happen at some point and I have always dreaded it.

I breathed a great sigh of relief when she picked up sounding absolutely calm. No hint of pain whatsoever. She proceeded to tell me that she and the three other people in the car with her escaped with not a single scratch. She was already home after a work meeting which she attended following a physical examination by TaRSIER 117’s first responders. I was baffled by the idea that she could nonchalantly just get back to work a few hours after an experience like that. I would need two dramatic days to recuperate if it happened to me. But then an inner reminder said something along the line of ‘This is your mother. She will always be alright.’ Then I understood. Then I accepted and let go of doubt.

A couple of days later when I felt that any remaining undetected twisted nerves would have rested back in place, I asked mama what went through her mind while the car turned over with her inside it. I was half expecting an answer detailing the life-saving procedures she may have learned from military combat training, but instead got a very clear expression of faith. “It was like I was not myself at all. It felt like I was there just to go through it because it was happening to me. It was like a total giving up of myself to something that I didn’t have the time to reason what or who,” she said. “One doesn’t reason at all. One just goes through it with complete trust of what may become. There was nothing except total submission to a being that I didn’t think what or who. It’s never human or materially comprehensible. It’s Divine -- a super being beyond what I am capable of intellectually comprehending. I just gave myself up with complete trust. I didn’t think of being saved. I just trusted and nothing else.”

Her words conjured images from a film I saw several weeks ago called ‘Mister Lonely,’ which involves a scene where a nun who accidentally fell from an aircraft in flight professes complete trust in God and hits the ground alive and unscathed. To many, these words from my mother may be quite confounding. Very few people know Liza Quirog deeply as she is a very private person who is picky when it comes to the subject of faith and Spirit. But I know my mother and these words did not surprise me at all. You see, one of her most ubiquitous pieces of advice, always prominently featured when she makes an ‘aunty’ speech at a debut party of one cousin or another, is to pray. She does not name drop any deity, she just emphasises prayer as an effective daily tool in life. This, dear friends, I must say, is not lip service to please religious majority crowds or for lack of anything else to say. I know mama and she is a very prayerful person. Perhaps she does not hear mass regularly, spew out memorised Bible passages, recite the Rosary or even mutter the Lord’s Prayer, but in her own private space and time, she does pray.

I’ve always been wary of people who claim to be ‘spiritual but not religious,’ subtly turning my head ever so slightly to my right to secretly roll my eyeballs each time I hear it. It’s a very common phrase for disillusioned individuals and apostates who have left the organised religion they were raised in. It took a long time for me to realise that I was raised by one ‘spiritual but not religious’ woman who didn’t even make a verbal claim to the description. When I asked my mother how she called herself religion-wise, she said something to this effect: ‘Baptised Catholic, trying to practise the teachings of Christ and the Buddha while constantly seeking as a Theosophist.’ Even if she is not the typical church-going Filipino, she approaches all matters of Spirit with utmost reverence and it was perhaps not until this most recent brush with fate that she has proven to herself the strength of her own faith even if it does not come with a strict label.

as seen on the Bohol Tribune
09 December 2018

A Fake Name, a Bean Stew and a Self-Inflicted Heartache

I remember a romantic encounter over a year ago when I was in La Paz, Bolivia. He was an Argentinian artist who co-owned a bar and painted murals on commission. He had spent the past week juggling broken old mobile phones and walkie-talkies on the streets of Sopocachi and Calacoto, hoping for people to be amused enough to spare a few coins and notes so he wouldn't have to rely on his bank account for food while travelling. Prominent among the plethora of bracelets on his left wrist was a band with blue and white stripes, and a stoic-looking golden sun. The dialect of Castilian he spoke was like gentle rain on a dry wheat field.

We met at Plaza Murillo one cold Friday afternoon in the Southern Hemisphere summer of 2015-2016. It could easily have been 8°C, so I wore the new alpaca wool hoodie I'd bought the previous day. He spotted me petting a bystander's puppy and stopped to ask if I had any dogs myself. I was a little weirded out but I responded, anyway. I told him I had four back in the Philippines. He said he had one back in Buenos Aires before quipping about how I might not need such a warm sweater in my country. "Sho me shamo Miguel," he went on. "Y vos?"

My response would become one of my biggest regrets that year. It was the destruction of possibilities. It was the beginning of something that could never last more than a night. After honouring his accent with a friendly mock -- "Jefe, BOSS, por qué hablas como la shuvia?" -- and telling him he wasn't getting my sweater, I said my name was David because I liked the sound of it and I also didn't think I wanted to see him again after that day. He was handsome, sure, but I stereotyped him as an Argentinian. After all, they do have a global reputation for being cocky. And it didn't help that he was clearly fully European-blooded. I don't think one could get any blonder than him. Think of Draco Malfoy's hair, but up to the waist.

The puppy's owner had to leave, so we took over his bench and chatted a bit more before going for an aimless stroll all over the district. The chemistry was undeniable and the sexual tension was intense. We covered topics ranging from fire-juggling to Eastern Spirituality to progressive Christianity to Ayahuasca, while exchanging innuendos and stealing glances at each other. Before we knew it, the clock had passed 19:00 and the sun was about to set. He stopped walking just in front of a place called Casa del Sol and asked, "Cena?" I was hungry and all there was to do was walk in, so I said yes.

I was so pleasantly surprised that it was a vegetarian restaurant that I grinned from ear to ear, browsing through the menu like a little boy at Disneyland deciding which ride to go on first. I was 100% sure I didn't tell him about my eating habits so I asked him how he knew. He responded with something along the lines of "I wouldn't like you that much if you had struck me as the meat-eating type. And I like you that much." My heart melted. I regretted so much giving him a fake name.

I sat there, ate and chatted all while trying to figure out how I could possibly take my lie back. I went to a bar with him and had around four beers, pretending to have a conversation but really thinking "Will he still like me that much if he finds out I lied about something as basic as my goddamn name?" I went home with him to his Couchsurfing host's flat, stayed the night with my head spinning over how stupid I was to have lied to this incredibly beautiful human being beside me. When the sun returned for another day and we needed to part ways before his host woke up, he wrote his email and number on the back of a faded receipt. I dropped it in my day pack's main compartment and gave him one final kiss before disappearing, never to be seen by him again.

I'd like to romanticise this tale by saying I let the paper float away on a river somewhere, but that would be like saying my name was David -- another lie. I actually just lost it. I tried to dig for it in my day pack and my huge rucksack as I was leaving Bolivia, during my stay in Lima, in Amsterdam and Kuala Lumpur, and after I had landed in the Philippines. Nada. It's been over a year and I've given up already, but I will always remember that day. A day of could-haves. A day of what-ifs. A day that gave me a glimpse -- a taste, if you will -- of something beautiful but impossible.

So what does this story have to do with my bean stew in the photo? I ordered one off Casa del Sol's specials menu when Miguel and I were there, and I was absolutely bowled over by how delicious it tasted. It was just sensational! No bean stew has since surpassed its quality.

After I complimented the chef, I was blessed with a piece of culinary treasure when he told me the secret to great chilli is to grill the tomatoes whole until the skin burns and ruptures. Cut them in half, sprinkle a pinch of salt on the inside of each piece and let them sit for at least 15 minutes before throwing them in your pan to sauté in olive oil with onion and garlic. Absolutely lovely, but I can't help but think the chef spoke of more than a recipe that night. For during the days that followed, it was as if my heart had been ripped off my chest, grilled whole, cut in half, salted and thrown in the fire.

Let it be me

LET IT BE ME

Let the pain not be mine.

Let me not be a survivor.

Let me not live with wounds.

Let me not wake up in tears,

Yearning for hugs I once felt,

For sounds I could never hear,

From a voice forever silenced,

Consigned to essays & books,

Memoirs, poetry & whispers

Living in a mind that lies

About what words were said,

What songs were sung,

What's alive, what's dead.

Ludwig 

Give Us This Day Our Daily Rice

Time for some BIBLE STUFF!

It amazes me how when the Lord's Prayer is translated into Visayan/Cebuano and Filipino/Tagalog, bread becomes rice.

"Give us this day our daily bread" translates as "Ang kalan-on namô sa matag-adlaw, ihatag kanamô karo'ng adlawa" and "Bigyan mo kami ngayon ng aming kakanin sa araw-araw," respectively.

While some would argue that the words "kalan-on" and "kakanin" may directly translate as "food," in the context of the original prayer where a specific staple is mentioned (i.e. bread), it should then follow that an equivalent local staple be used in the context of what is common for the people who use the languages that the prayer is translated into. In this case, rice. And as "kalan-on" (or "kan-on" in modern standard Cebuano) and "kakanin" (or "kanin" in modern standard Filipino) are actually the words for cooked rice, I believe it actually means rice in the prayer.

Nevertheless, I am well aware of how deep dissection by a lot of biblical scholars has led to the inference that the Epiousios Bread referred to in the prayer is actually the Bread of Life, the Christ Jesus. Interestingly, however, if Jesus were not Middle-Eastern (West Asian) and if the events of the New Testament had not taken place in Israel and Palestine, but in East or Southeast Asia, he would be called the "Rice of Life," which I personally have no qualms with.

Marine BDSM

Here you see me awkwardly resisting the strong current
 and doing my best not to die right before going 27 metres down the reef drop-off

You visit one whom you love so much and spend nearly a full day in that familiar embrace. Sometimes you are hugged too tight that you struggle to breathe. Sometimes you accidentally ingest something that human beings are not supposed to have too much of. Sometimes you end up violently flailing your arms and legs to resist the things done to you. Being there entails the use of various instruments--apparatus that help you spend time together, but at the same time, risk weighing you down and causing you to become completely consumed if you're not careful. Either way, you feel ecstatic even though there are moments when you feel like you're barely an inch away from death.

You are not alone. There are others there, too. Some just visit to enjoy the company; some people visit to experience the same embrace you get; while some are there as devoted worshippers of this awesome deity.

When you part ways, you head home happy. In the evening, nearly every single muscle in your body hurts like hell. One consolation is that at least your sleep is absolutely wonderful. Then you wake up in the morning to find everything three times more painful.

But, dear ocean, you are still my #1 and I love you infinitely.

Embracing the Red Sea

When Miriam Defensor-Santiago announced that she was running again, I thought I would end up voting for her. She is a feisty and intelligent woman with quite a track record. Sure, she isn't perfect, but who is? Right?

I didn't really find anything hugely despicable about Noynoy Aquino; I just genuinely thought this woman would be a good alternative because of her intellect and her extensive experience in public service. Sure, she has done some rather horrid things (case in point: playing crony to both Estrada and Arroyo), but she has hilarious pick-up lines and she was one of the most active proponents of the Magna Carta of Women. She may have a foul mouth and a patronising attitude, but she championed the Reproductive Health Bill. See my dilemma there?

I was contemplating, for once, jumping off the political mini-bandwagon of the family and the party it supported. For the sake of being true to myself, I thought. I even pondered on coming out as a Miriam-supporter a day after elections. It would have been my second coming out.

And then she chose Bongbong Marcos as her running mate. I was shattered. For years within the period of Ferdinand Marcos' Martial Law, when they were in university, my parents risked their lives to raise public awareness on the atrocities he had committed. They took to the streets and participated in demonstrations against his violent regime. And now, here's this woman, for whom I had great admiration, peddling the son of a criminal. Here she was presenting Ferdinand Marcos Jr--who indubitably benefited from the wealth his parents amassed by pillaging the country's treasury--as her choice for the country's second highest position. Here she was putting a virtual pedestal below the feet of a man with an indomitable will to deny that his father ever committed any crime against the Philippines and its people.

To add insult to injury, she had this to say: “If I die before I finish my 6-year term, Senator Ferdinand Marcos Jr will be able to fit that blank.” I was fuming for days. I was not angry at Miriam but at myself. I was angry at how I was less than three centimetres away from voting for the wrong person. It certainly doesn't help remedy the occasional bouts I have with my propensity for self-slapping that Bongbong Marcos is a front-runner for the vice presidency.

I was at a loss. At the time, I was brainwashed by the rhetoric that Mar Roxas was worth flipping off due to his alleged incompetence at handling the responsibilities of the DILG (Department of the Interior and Local Government) concerning the relief efforts for victims of Typhoon Haiyan. Binay is corrupt; Poe is inexperienced; and Duterte is a mass murderer. I gave serious thought to abstention. I filled my idle hours with beautiful daydreams about Leni Robredo becoming president with Risa Hontiveros as vice.

Then I asked, "Why would a person as noble as Leni Robredo consent to becoming Mar Roxas' running mate if she didn't genuinely believe in him?" And before you insinuate that I am on a weak bandwagon of people who only think Leni is clean because of public perception, I'll tell you that I actually have very strong connections with people who have known her personally for a long time. Vicente R. Hao-Chin Jr, a good personal friend and spiritual mentor of mine, a philanthropist, former president of the Theosophical Society in the Philippines--of which I am a member, co-founder of the transformative school called Golden Link College, and a person whose friends and acquaintances regard as one of the holiest and most noble people in the Philippines, is a first cousin of Jesse Robredo, Leni's late husband who died in a plane crash in 2012. He has known Leni for years and can attest to her genuine kindness and integrity.

I decided to actually do some reading and discovered that the accusations against Mar are largely baseless. On the issue about fund misuse, audit reports prove that the 4 billion pesos that passed through his office has been completely disseminated to local governments whose approved rehabilitation projects are now over 90% complete. And if you know me, you know I can be monstrous when I read so you can bet that I didn't cheat myself. Believe me, I even took time to read loads of articles slamming Roxas. Still, none of the accusations of corruption checked out. They all proved to be baseless and, if not deliberate fabrications for the sake of ruining his name (because I'd like to think the best of people), simply misinformed.

Still, though, he is not the most charismatic of leaders. He does not seem to me like the kind of man capable of rallying a crowd towards a common goal. Add these, too: He still thinks there's a chance that clean coal might exist; he maintains a capitalist mindset that supports some of the big corporations that I find absolutely abhorrent; he was born into privilege and is largely detached from the conditions that poor Filipinos experience on a day-to-day basis. I was only just getting to know him, so it would take a stronger push for me to actually declare (even to myself) that I would be voting for him. It was different with Miriam because she has been an object of fascination for me since I was a child. Mar Roxas, on the other hand, lacked the force of personality to even warrant an effort to type his name on a Google search bar. I only ever looked him up once when he ran for the vice presidency in 2010. I read one article, watched one YouTube video and then chose to ignore him in favour of Loren Legarda.

This time, I do not have the luxury to be complacent or to abstain. Running for the same position is a mass murderer who has gained a following whose chest voids his false messages of hope have filled instead of allowing them to regain their hearts. They ooze with fanaticism, praising and justifying every single thing he says and does like they have been possessed, banking on the possibility that maybe the country can be molded into a large version of the orderly Davao City. Nevermind that it may only be achieved through the death of hundreds of people and the trauma and insanity of thousands more. Nevermind that we might, for six years, live in fear of the unchecked power of institutions supposedly charged with our protection.

I was now vacillating between abstention and pragmatism. Should I declare that nobody deserved my vote or should I go for a lacklustre candidate that I didn't know enough about to trust with the job of serving as the country's commander-in-chief for the next six years? On Christmas eve last year, my answer manifested itself. With my mother and grandmother, I visited a Mosque in Sabah, Malaysia and sat silently for about ten minutes mentally chanting "Abstain or Roxas?" And then I said to myself, almost as if prompted by an external force, "Come on, who are you kidding? You know you're voting for Mar." The night of the 25th of December, a foreign friend asked me whom I was voting for and I found myself saying "Roxas" with absolutely zero hesitation. It was then that I truly knew he was getting my vote.

In spite of my mother and father's strong words of encouragement early on that I pick Manuel Roxas III, I still took days and days to ponder long and hard. Any other election without this much pressure and I would probably abstain, having learned my lesson from back in 2010 when I voted for Gibo Teodoro who turned out to be an Arroyo crony that opposed the RH Bill. My consolation was that he lost but I can't help but pound on my noggin a bit for picking him without knowing much about him, just because my maternal family prescribed it. This Sunday, it's a different story. It's not that I strongly want Mar Roxas as the next president; it's that I dread the idea of Rodrigo Duterte rising to power. I have visited places where murder is an everyday occurrence. I have been to countries where living in fear of the military and police is the norm. I don't want the Philippines to be that way. Not this year, not ever!

For a moment, let's disregard the fact that his real name is Manuel and pretend it's just Mar. In Spanish, "mar" means "sea" and "roxas" is an ancient spelling of "rojas," the feminine form of "rojos," plural for "rojo," which means "red." I am voting for a man whose name means "Red Sea," not thinking of a bloodbath, but a body of water that I, a drudge, must traverse to reach the promised land and be freed from vassalage, just as the Hebrews did thousands of years ago when they left Egypt. He isn't the promised land. He will merely help us but we don't have Moses so we're going to have to do our part. We must row or swim as hard as we can if we are to get what we want. This man has neither messianic promises nor deluded predictions. All he said was he would help and he would do it in a civil and decent way. And we know it won't be easy. But at least, instead of perishing over a few rectifiable mistakes, the vast majority of us have hope of being alive to see whatever fruits our labour might bear.

We Need a Doctor, Not an Executioner

Edmundo lee, a friend of mine, wrote about a woman who was recently killed for having robbed several houses in a neighbourhood in Catarman, Samar, Philippines. He then proceeded to ask:

Does championing change have to mean death for wrongdoers who could be rehabilitated? What warrants death, and why do we take it upon ourselves to decide who dies? Who the fuck do we think we are?

It is malcontent that drives people to clamour for extreme measures. They are tired of the social system in place and the sluggish speed at which justice is served if due process is to be followed. People draw inspiration from divergent societies that elect to take justice into their own hands rather than rely on the courts and spend what probably feels like an agonising eternity of waiting for a decision to be arrived at. From a sociological point of view, they are doing this because they feel that they are in an extreme situation.

Let's examine historical cases of extremes:

When Poland left the clutches of the Soviet hegemony that imposed a violent Leninist and Stalinist brand of purely materialistic communism, they gradually took an acute shift into what it is today--a very right-wing nation that has removed the right of a woman to make decisions for her own body and has a Foreign Affairs Minister, Witold Waszczykowski, who dismisses vegetarianism and the usage of bicycles as socialist habits! They struggled to rise from the fire but have ended up causing themselves to freeze half to death. This is still happening right now.

As a result of Spain's long and violent struggle against its monarchy, they ended up with a totalitarian dictatorship under General Francisco Franco. Guess how well that turned out. The violence only ended with the return of the monarchy where the new ruling king took it upon himself to overhaul the country--seeking the people's help in turning it into a constitutional monarchy with an elected parliament.

The Buddha left a life of wealth and luxury when he felt that it was not giving him true happiness. He shifted to one of severe austerity and allowed himself to be reduced to an emaciated mendicant, which nearly killed him. He left this life, too and later learned where the balance was. There, he found happiness.

If history teaches us anything, it's that jumping from one extreme to another only tips the scale the other way. It does not create balance at all. So, yes, the people clamouring for such extreme changes to the way our society works have their reasons, but their experiences do not, in any way, justify slaying our democracy and refusing to honour each person's basic human right to live. Retribution and violence are means to an end. True. But they are NOT ways to bring about justice. They are lazy short-term solutions that will not cure our social illnesses. Our country needs a doctor, not an executioner.

Remember:  One does not stop a disease outbreak by killing the afflicted.

Elections and Friendships

BINISAYA:

Pinili-ay og Panaghigala

Nag-anam-anam na og kaduol ang adlaw sa pinili-ay.
Daghan na kaayo'ng mga panaghigala
Ang nabungkag tungod sa kalainan sa baruganan
Ug mga kandidato'ng gidapigan.

Ang kadaugan sa atong mga manok,
Labaw pa ba g'yud og bili sa panagsu-on
Nga pila na ka-tuig gi-amumahan?

Masayon-sayon ra diay og gubâ
Pinaagi sa bulok sa atong mga baklaw
Ug sa mga hulagway nga gipatapot
Sa likod sa atong mga sakyanan?

Dili ba diay malungtaron
Ang gugma sa matuod nga higala?

Nangabuang na ta'ng tanan?
Mangligid sâ uroy ta sa Banat-i
Ug magpapaak og iring!



ENGLISH:

Elections and Friendships

The day of elections is drawing nearer and nearer.
Too many friendships
Have been shattered by differences in principles
And candidates we support.

Are the victories of our chickens
Of greater value than the bonds
That we have spent years to nurture?

Can they so easily be destroyed
By the colours of our bracelets
And the faces on bumper stickers
On the back of our cars?

Is it not resilient,
The love of a true friend?

Have we all become fools?
Let's roll down Banat-i Hill
And have cats bite us!

Two Years Since 7.2

Today in 2013, while I was enjoying what was supposed to be a 2-hour extension to my usual 8-hour slumber, silently thanking the Muslims for affording the rest of us Filipinos another day of relaxation as they celebrated the Feast of the Sacrifice, I was awakened by a violent tremor. For nearly half a minute, right after discovering that walking or standing up was not possible, I held on to my bed post as images of the ground swallowing the house and ending my 23-year Earthly existence flashed through my mind. Thankfully, my whole family lived through the disaster and our home in the city was left intact. Others were not as fortunate. During its 34-second stint, the quake claimed homes, bridges, churches and 222 human lives, leaving some of us survivors to literally eat dust before we could begin to pick ourselves up. It has been two years since then and Bohol has largely recovered but some things may never return to the way they were. Bridges and homes have had to be demolished and rebuilt from scratch. And goodness knows you can't put coral rocks back together if they've been pulverised. A billion sacks of rice and the whites of two million chicken eggs will do us no good this time. We have all had to live with changes--some more difficult to accept than others--but at least our spirits are strong. That has been proven true. The earthquake and the subsequent Super Typhoon Haiyan, which happened less than a month later, were stark reminders of the sheer impermanence of Earthly existence and the utter futility of the identities and labels we carry around and destroy each other over. In the end, we are all just people. Yesterday, we were born; now, we live; tomorrow, we die. Whether you believe in anything beyond death, why should we say we are more important than another person when our skulls are just as easily pierced by a spade as any other man or woman walking this Earth? Why raise our sense of value over our fellow human beings'? We are all of the same substance, anyway.

The Things We Do for Peace

I was in Siem Reap, Cambodia for a week to attend the Annual Assembly of the Cooperation Circle leaders of the United Religions Initiative in South-East Asia and the Pacific Region (URI SEAPac).

If you don't know what URI is, visit our website at http://www.uri.org/.

I won't make a detailed write-up of what we did during the eight days we were there.  I don't intend to write a novel.  One thing I must say, though, is that the formal assembly wasn't perfect.  In fact, it was far from perfect.  Rest assured, however, it was a good learning experience for all of us.  What mattered was we were there and we got to share experiences and good practices in Peace building.  It was basically a gathering where we asked each other, "Hey, how are you?  What have you been doing for Peace this year?"  The awesome part was that we weren't only telling each other things; we were learning new useful ideas in the process.

Beyond sharing ideas and listening to inspiring stories, I must say the most important thing about the assembly was that we got to see good old friends and make awesome new ones.  The URI SEAPac has recently gone through major changes that have affected a lot of us.  People have parted from us and the goodbyes said were not necessarily happy.  For over a year, it has been an emotional roller coaster but, thankfully, we've been able to get through it without too many wounds.  The cuts and bruises in our hearts will heal in time.

Anyway, there were over 30 of us in the assembly, coming from five countries in the region (Australia, Cambodia, Indonesia, Malaysia, and the Philippines) plus a guest from the URI Global Hub in the U.S.A.  We had different faith and spiritual backgrounds (Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Universalism, Quakerism, Brahma Kumaris, Baha'i Faith) and we came together to build peace through dialogue, understanding and loving acceptance.  We went there with a cup of blessings to offer and left with so many cups more and hearts filled with immeasurable joy and love.


So, in a nutshell, during the assembly...

We discussed stuff.

We prayed together.

We ate.

We shared ideas.

We danced a Khmer dance in a circle.

We line danced.

We shared experiences.
That's me talking.

We sang a John Lennon song.
Imagine

We played games.

We had serious circle forums.

We sang in a chorus.

We shared ideas over food and tea.

We shared smiles and made new good friends.

We went shopping at Siem Reap's old market.

We went shopping at the night markets.

We went to pubs and didn't drink but had fun anyway.

We rode tuktuks.

We visited Angkor Wat.

We visited the Bayon Temple in Angkor Thom.

We visited the Preah Khan temple ruins.

We visited a Theravada Buddhist monastery.

We visited a Jesuit-run Roman Catholic Church.

We visited a Sunni Mosque.

We strengthened old bonds and forged new ones that will indubitably last forever!

Photo credits:
     - Brother Rem
     - Brother Samphors
     - Me