Friday, January 21, 2011

There Is Nothing Awesome About The Idea of Getting Myself Braces

...and the sad thing is I've been told I actually need some!  What?  I'm completely not ecstatic about the whole idea of putting barbed wire inside my mouth!




I can't imagine what kind of smile I would have after allowing an orthodontist to install a metal fence-like structure on my teeth.  It'd probably scare the hell out of people.

I mean no offense to the people who do have braces.  Certain people could carry it with complete grace.  People like Adrienne and Patrise don't have any issues regarding braces.  They still look awesome with them.  Me on the other hand...  Well, I just don't think I'm cut out for it.

I've always thought they're not for me...  And all of a sudden I'm going to get myself some?

Thought A:  When my partner kisses me, how might he/she feel?

Thought B:  When I smile, is it going to be appealing with the shining, shimmering, splendid metal on my teeth?

Thought C:  Am I still going to be taken with as much seriousness?

Thought D:  Is this going to cause me to resort to my signature locked lips smile?  And if I get used to it too much, will I be closed-lip smiling even if the braces are no longer on?  Or maybe forever?

Thought E:  How long will the braces be on?  Will I still have them when I'm 27 and have kids of my own?

Omigosh!  I should seriously stop now!  I can't handle all the questions coming in.  I should take care of my search for marketed HGH first.  Wait...  That's a completely different issue.  I'd rather not discuss it right now.

I need to go eat dinner.  The maid just knocked on my door and called me down to eat.

Wait... Another thought!

Thought F:  Will I be able to eat properly?

Thought G:  How do I floss properly if there's metal?

Thought H:  Won't the bristles of my toothbrush get stuck between the wires?