Thursday, October 7, 2010

Janette's Knees (Totally Owned By Mario)

Janette asked me to write about this yesterday.  I said, "gladly!"  Right after the incident, I already had an inclination to post an entry about it, but I feared she'd take offense.  I was prepared to ridicule every detail of what had happened right there and then.  Of course, for the purpose of social decency, I didn't and I won't.


Jannette, John, and I had already seen the ConquistaDora video - a parody of Dora the Explorer - and we were just casually talking about it.  It was like we were punning every detail and laughing our asses out.  Dora was already funny in her original character, but this video was just priceless.

I wanted to watch it again so I made a suggestion.  And we did!  Another 2 minutes and 40 seconds of laughing like we'd never seen the damn thing before.  Janette was unfamiliar with so we explored the videos together for about half-an-hour.  And, then I got bored.  I headed to the kitchenette to rummage the fridge for something interesting.  John followed suit about 10 minutes later.  Janette was left alone.

True to her easliy amusable nature, we heard her laughing her ass out with Super Mario Brothers music in the background.  I wondered what she was watching.  She continued to laugh louder to some $$kaching-kaching$$ Mario sound effect.  You know that part where mario hits a gold ceiling of some sort with a huge question mark and coins fly around?  Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Anyway, in the course of hearing Janette trying to "ha-ha" her heart out of her mouth, I heard her scream and then a loud thud came not long after...  And then a short moment of silence.  My eyes dilated as horrific images filled my head.

You know that scene in a slasher movie where an unsuspecting young woman in her house gets a surprise visit from a serial killer?  Yeah, that scene where she's minding her own business, getting horny in front of the computer or something -- and then a hooded man with a baseball bat shows up out of nowhere.  The victim tries to scream for help but it's too late.  The man subdues her by bashing her into unconsciousness.  And then to her horror, she wakes up strapped down to a surgery bed in an unfamiliar basement.  She then screams more and more when she sees the surgical tools situated right beside her.  The killer's silhouette is seen from outside a glass door...  And then the scene shifts into something less exciting.  Yes, that went through my head after the thud.

Gladly, though, Janette made aching sounds - and then continued to laugh.  At least that reassured us that she wasn't abducted.

Apparently, because the video caused her to laugh unmindfully, her right foot flip-flop got stuck to the foot of the chair.  When she tried to get up, she was thrown down on the concrete floor.  Bare knees first!  And as if the fall wasn't bad enough, her $100 flip-flops were ruined.  Yes, that fall was the last time her soles were ever going to feel the soft, comfy base of that Special Edition Havaianas of hers.  It's okay, she could nail the pair to a wall and turn it into some sort of decoration.  Or she could cut it up and get creative.  Whatever!

Hahaha!  I still crack up thinking about how Mario Mario had totally owned her knees.